Little Beige Whales

And on July 8, 2008, Gossip Girl was in the New York Times as heralding a new era in fashion merchandising. Fans of the show can visit the website to click through the characters' clothes from each episode, and purchase with teenaged abandon. Such a purposeful conflation of fashion and profit brings to mind the Takashi Murakami gallery in Japan, where visitors can purchase Louis Vuitton bags from a fully functioning store in the gallery. The NYT also notes that Gossip Girl has revived an interest in prep school fashion, with emphasis on argyle and blazers.

Thank god. Although I have remained steadfastly anti-prep in my life, I always chuckled when one of my friends declared, repeatedly, that "prep is the new punk." Starting with the suited Hives leading to the prep punk Libertine, I could understand his view. But I was not about to pop any of my collars.

Then I recently stumbled on Melissa C. Morris' blog, also from the NYT (work has been slow), and from there, I descended into the bowels of thepreppywedding .blogspot.com. I was entranced and inexplicably hooked on some of the looks. (Not above!)

I think it may come from the 1960's mod retro feel that J Crew has been turning out in its higher end items, combined with my brain spinning into hyperdrive imagining what a "wife" wears. With a September wedding on the horizon, my brain sensed the potential for a MAKEOVER, and preppy was singing a sweet song.

And the true allure of preppy, especially the retro hue of prep, is that it has the potential to stave off the coming waves of minimalism heading to our shores. After a good six years of blissful details, elaborate twists, zoos of textures, and an explosion in the development of draping, someone decided to trot out feathers. And every time some one trots out feathers in fashion, the fashion board declares that deliciously intricate fashion is overplayed, and some slick haired designer does the "new" thing of "introducing" neutrals and potato sack dresses, reclaimining masculine powers in pants and rounding the toes of shoes.

Don't believe me? Well, there's the black and white truth of it- it's been in the fashion magazines since 2006, when Elle and Vogue declared the return to minimalism in their spring spreads. Generally, the magazines announce the movement about twice before anyone listens- once each year- then the third year, die hard fashionistas take heed- much like your mom calling you to dinner, you must eventually concede- and then the fourth year, everyone is doing it. Six years on down the road, watered down horrendous adaptations of the trend will still be skirting the more practical moms in middle America. On this timeline, minimalism should be in full swing for most of us from spring 20009 through 20010.

Then there's the more empirical proof. Statement necklaces are in. Well crap. I love them- man do I- but what can you wear a statement necklace with? A plain neckline and simple hair, no prints, simple earrings. Ahhh, they already have you on their wicked little slide.Oh and look! Neons are creeping back! CK is big again! You can't wear crazy prints or cuts with full on neons- no, the call here is to "let the color speak" and wear them simply. They are sly ones, I tell you. Next you will see futuristic cuts- in all black- the wave of the future! But the cuts will quickly disappear- who has the guts to wear them- and we are left with a monochromatic world of sacks and stud earrings.

But I am not ready to go back into that dark night from whence I came. I remember that sad day I trashed all my gorgeously cascading earrings, disposing of all "tacky" prints, dispelling any soft color that harkened in my closet and disposing of my gold (literally- damned silver, which looks so nice with black). I was naïve then, and foolishly thought, like all young hearts, that fashion, and life, was novel, bravely venturing where no woman had gone before, evolving and discarding the weak. Little did I fully comprehend that trends are cycled through at the vicious speed of a consumer's pedal, and that fashion was the complex balancing of every small current, every silk scarf, every chandelier earring, towards something truly descriptive- the sense of which could not be conveyed in words- art.

Preppy- powered by revenue yielding cigar smoking TV execs- has the power to turn back this tide. With the brightly lined blazers, the intricate crests of make-believe schools and the zig zag of argyle- promises the lure of accessories and coordinating details, in the great Gap style of piling it on, and surely our economy needs all the revenue we can generate. So I am stocking up on all the J Crew, maxi jersey dresses, and Judith Ripka trinkets with which I can load my arms , those cheery green crocodiles and pink flamingos standing guard against the pending night. Oh, and this dress:



****I would also like to note that my tomfoolery with a clean cut aesthetic will not lend itself ever to the wearing of: David Yurman, Vera Bradley, or Coach anything. That's just a type of dirty that doesn't wash off.